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The Secrets to Getting What You Want

February 23, 2015

georgie abel moab

Many people come to coaching wanting something different for themselves and their lives. They are unfulfilled, feel under-appreciated, are generally confused and stuck. Most of the time people want more for their lives, they are tired of doing the same thing over and over and feeling like life is a chore. The problem is when I ask them “Well, what is it that you want?” there is a dead silence, followed by a quiet voice saying something along the lines of “Weeellll, hmmmm I am not really sure, just not what is happening”.

The first secret to getting what you want is first to know and define what it is you want.

It is fascinating how many people are unhappy day in and day out but refuse to get clear on what will make them happy. Instead, they point fingers outwards saying “YOU are”  or “THAT is” doing (or did) this to me. They stay in unsatisfying jobs, relationships and situations. They don’t change themselves or their habits. They live inside a self-made house of their own excuses, limiting beliefs and behaviors. And worst of all, they forget how to love themselves through it all (don’t feel bad if any of this sounds painfully familiar, after all you’re only human, we have all been there).

There are numerous ways to support yourself in finding what you truly want. I don’t go into them here but feel free to contact me if you want to know more. Like any GPS system you must know your destination first in order to get directions. We have a similar internal GPS system that works the same; in order to get what you want you must know what you want.

Are you sure you know what you want now? Still feel like your entire life needs a remodel? Do you ever have the thought “If I could just change (blank) everything would be better” or “as soon as (blank) happens I will be happy”?  Maybe you have even changed something in your life or gotten something you wanted and it felt like nothing really changed? Surprise! Changing the outside doesn’t always change the inside. However, changing the inside will surely change the outside. Voila!

Many people believe that having things you want leads to doing the things you want and doing the things you want leads to being or feeling the way you want to feel. But here is the next secret; it actually works in just the opposite way…

Secret number two to getting what you want is to feel the way you want first…..

….. then you can do the things you want followed by having the things you want after that. Really! Try it out! What we are really craving when we desire things is an experience or a feeling. If you start with the feeling first it gives you the energy to get the actual thing you want.

Now you know what you want, you are feeling great but maybe for some reason you just can’t seem to get moving to create what you want in your life. Maybe every time you take action it doesn’t seem to have the joy or excitement you were looking for or you don’t feel motivated to actually take the actions you know you need to take.

Secret number three to getting what you want is to figure out why you want what you want

This is a huge one! Once you understand your own inner psychology for wanting the things you desire most, you will be able to understand your own unique motivations. When you truly know why you want something you will be more driven to take the actions to get there.  For example, if you know that getting a great job will help you to be closer with and provide for your family (and you really want that) you will be more apt to create a great resume, get up early and keep networking. This question of “Why do I want what I want?” may also help you to uncover your deeper needs and desires. Perhaps discovering why you want something reveals a deeper, more authentic desire or want. Once you realize this you can simply strive for the thing you really want.

Why do you want the things you want??

As you can see the secrets to getting what you want all depend on your own internal dialogue and exploration. If you focus on just these three things every single day you will become so clear, full of energy and motivated that you will be destined to get what you want! When you know what you want,  when you feel the way you want to feel first and know deeply why you want it, there are no limits to what you can achieve

Leave me a comment to let me know, which one will you explore today??

Want a free session to explore this deeper and start to get what you want? Contact me here.

Wishing you happiness, creativity and purpose in all your endeavors.

In Gratitude,


Nicolette Koepke

Nicolette is a certified coach and teacher who empowers people to discover their authentic happiness, creativity and purpose at work and in life. After spending years working for best-selling authors and thought leaders such as Deepak Chopra and John Maxwell she decided to partner in the start-up of a successful online marketing company specializing in product launch for personal development companies. Nicolette now uses coaching to blend soulfulness with real world results and is passionate about finding your happiness and purpose. Find out more and get the free "Build Your Dream Year" training by signing up at